Meetings with the student counselors Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

Meetings with the student counselors - Essay Example In the following parts of this argumentative paper, first causes of the long lines of waiting students to meet with the counselors are accounted for. It is followed by their effects and solutions are provided. And, before conclusion a statement of rebuttal is also accounted for. Causes The delayed meetings with a student counselor or adviser have become a routine in the College. Many students are required to wait in long queues; and, at the same time, students are given late appointment date and time for a meeting with the student counselor or adviser. This may be caused by not meeting with the requirement of the demand and supply in the College- the supply side of increasing students each year may not be managed by accordingly fulfilling the demand of the student counselors and advisers. Furthermore, the College may not have well-trained or experienced student counselors or advisors. Most of the time, an inexperienced student counselor or advisor consumes more time while counseling or advising a student. Consequently, many students are required to stay in long queues waiting to meet with the student counselors. Effects Academic performance and frustration increase due to the long lines of students waiting to meet with the counselors and advisors. ... And, they prefer to manage both sides without compromising any aspect. Under such conditions, if they are forced to wait in the long lines to meet with the student counselors, certainly their academic performance would greatly be affected by that. Moreover, if their academic performance is being affected by such delays, they become frustrated and the level of anxiety, which is perceived as occupying a significant position in academic achievement (Columbus 137), rises. Generally, the part time students already remain heavily under pressure. And, waiting in the long lines does nothing but to increase their frustration. For the College, the implications of academically under-performed students cannot be ruled out. The College reputation may be affected by the ill-performing or under-performing students; and, subsequently, it would not be supportive for the College ranking. For generating a good number of students, the Colleges are required to obtain good ranking at the state level. Addi tionally, the potential students may avoid getting admission in the College under such conditions. As a result, this would affect the inflows of the College which are normally generated from the student fees. Solutions The removal of causes brings solutions; first, the number of student counselors and advisers must be increased according to the student enrollment; so that increasing supply of students must be adjusted with the demand of advisers and counselors. Additionally, the College management must appoint well-experienced and appropriately qualified student counselors and advisors. Rebuttal The long student lines for meeting with the counselors and advisors may not be frequent. It is possible that the frequency of this issue

The Positive and Negative of pay for Performance Essay

The Positive and Negative of pay for Performance - Essay Example Nowadays, the utilization of this scheme is widely used not just in the United States but all over the world as documented by the Harvard Business School. While others have strongly supported the view that performance based compensation will promote efficiency and satisfaction in the business organization, some empirical experiments failed to display its significance. In line with this, this report will look at the pros and cons of pay for performance. This paper will apply pay for performance both for employees work on their own and those working within a team. Pay for performance is based on the premise that money is a motivational factor. This premise assumes that in order for individuals to work harder, monetary incentives should always be present. Pay for performance is a system which directly links money to higher and more efficient performance. According to Pinto, performance based is the best from of compensation in this knowledge-based business environment. He argues that the â€Å"old archaic systems and processes of lax reviews and annual automatic pay increases across the board†¦ results in increasing jeopardy for employees whose pay has escalated over the years to a level that simply cannot compete in the modern global environment† (Pinto 6). This is supported by empirical results the most famous of which is the GE experience. It should be noted that Jack Welch significantly improved the performance as GE as the entire workforce â€Å"shaped up as nobody wanted to be at the bottom† (5). In some situations, money can function as a primary motivator in the case of workforce in the developing countries. An increase in their salary almost always motivates to work harder to finance their families’ expenditures. Performance-based compensation is also favored because of its relative simplicity. This system is regarded to give immediate and meaningful feedbacks. Also,

Analysing People Oriented Methodology And Its Ethics Philosophy Essay

Analysing People Oriented Methodology And Its Ethics Philosophy Essay People oriented methodology is mainly focused on obtaining the ethical position of every individual. It emphasizes more on ethics which is a participative approach of human or people who might be the stakeholders or users. It also highlights that users are deeply involved in the development process and take control over the stages, it means that the users are also involved in the decision making process and fully committed to the IS development. People oriented methodology can be applied to a system which really involves various types of people. It is normally a difficult task of making the users getting involved in to the development stages, but still the involvement of users from the top level management to the staff level is required in order to avoid some thoughts of the user like, feeling that the job should be more demanding and less secure. On the other hand user involvement may also be used to improvise the human-computer interface. Using this sort of an approach also include s visibility, simplicity, consistency and flexibility. It is also one to the suitable methodology in the life cycle where its aim is to involve users in the development system; its focus is on ethics, socio technical view and human implementation; in the feasibility phase it identifies current problem, opportunity, system boundaries, existing system, key objectives and task. In the analysis phase diagnosis of efficiency, job satisfaction need and analysis, specifying and weighting efficiency is done. People-oriented methodology focuses on organizational design of new system, technical options and preparation of a detailed work design. In the implementation phase, the implementing process is planned in detail it also checks for whatever it is required to make a smooth changeover and finally in the maintenance phase the system is checked in order to make sure the objective is attained, If not the correction action is taken once again ETHICS As it is told already people-oriented methodology mainly focuses on ethics. Ethics is a branch of philosophy which seeks to address questions about morality that is concepts such as good and bad, wrong and right, justice and virtue. On the hand it can also be defined as a moral philosophy involving systematizing, defending, and recommending concepts of right and wrong behavior which is required for an organization. According to Enid Mumford (see Mumford, 1995), ethics is a methodology based on the participative approach to information systems development. Ethics is different from most of the system development methodologies. In ethics the process of change is viewed with the perspective of organizational issue and not as a technical issue. Ethical Theories Ethical theories play an important role in optimizing ordinary moral functions and to establish or defend basic moral principles. Why Ethical Theories? The need for this is that the emergence of new practices in the business and the basic principles may not be enough for the arising problems and may not cover the new areas that are still uncovered. Therefore it is necessary for a rational and consistent theory to evaluate the morality of actions. There are two possible approaches in order to overcome these problems, firstly there are some general rules and approaches but they may not be enough for some sort of issues. There might be some situation where the generally accepted practice or rules may be challenged. In such cases if there is some ways to decide and proceed on which, rule to follow it would be grateful. The ethical theories help an individual or an organization in choosing the right rule. Secondly the decision maker may be able to elaborate and decide his moral decisions to others. Its not a better thought to engage moral reasoning alone with the ethical theory should also be able to interpret it with the moral argumentation. This may help the decision maker to take part in a persuasive and intelligent way. And search of a completely satisfying ethical theory will never end up. There is no theory designed that satisfy all the people and philosophers, but still there are two theories that seems to be good while considering the other theories. They are the teleological and deontological theories, other than this there are theories like utilitarian and Kantian approach which can help in carrying out decisions in a better way. Ethics can be apportioned into three categories Meta-ethics, normative ethics, Applied Ethics. Philosophical Ethics Philosophical ethics carries a different approach to ethics by seeking morality through rational, secular outlook that prioritizes human happiness and well-being. The advantage with this sort of an approach is that it does not subject to religious, cultural or legal perspectives. Modern philosophical ethics can be split in to two categories they are Teleological and Deontological theories. a. Teleological Theories This theory has a special mark because pragmatic, common sensed, and knowledge approach to ethics. The claim here in this theory is that moral character of actions depending on how it can help or harm in a simple and realistic way. It also suggests that the actions that produce more benefits are right and that they dont are wrong. Jeremy Bentham planned to develop a moral science that is more teleological than other ways to separate right and wrong, and he in his Introduction to principles and moral legislation tells that Under the governance of two sovereign masters, pain and pleasure. It is for them alone to point out what we ought to do, as well as to determine what we shall do. On the one hand the standard of right and wrong, on the other the chain of causes and effects, are fastened to their throne. Aiming to make ethics practical, Bentham even proposed a system for measuring the amount of pleasure and pain that an action produces. Called the hedonistic calculus, Benthams system identifies seven aspects of an actions consequence that can be used to compare the results of different deeds: the intrinsic strength of the pleasurable or painful feelings produced (intensity), how long they last (duration), how likely it is that these sensations will be produced by a given action (certainty or uncertainty), how soon they will be felt (propinquity or remoteness), whether these feelings will lead to future pleasures (fecundity) or pains (purity), and the number of people affected (extent). Robbery example to be used for weighing happiness and unhappiness in scrum. Types of pleasure LEADERSHIP Leadership can be defined as process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task[1]. It can also be said in other words as Leadership is ultimately about creating a way for people to contribute to making something extraordinary happen [2]. A good leader sustains him-self with a never ending process of education, self-study and so on. Leadership is a process where an individual makes his team accomplish a particular task and directs the organization in a logically connected and cohesive ways, for this few attributes like beliefs, character, ethics, values, knowledge and skills is required. Before getting in to concept of leadership in software development lets have an overview on the leadership theories and the concepts of leadership LEADERSHIP THEORIES Leadership seemed to take a view from the society only from the twentieth century. Theories in the early period concentrated only on the qualities distinguished between the Leader and the follower. There are lots of theories emerging and most of them can be classified as one among the eight major types. i. Great Man Theories This theory assumes that leaders are not born but made and a great leader will arise when there is need. Previously the research was on the people who were already leaders and on those days leaders mostly were from aristocracy and only a few were from the lower level, and this indicated that leadership has something to do with family or breeding. This great man theory says that leaders are men with heroism, mythic and should be capable of admitting these attributes whenever it is required. ii. Trait Theories This theory assumes that people are born with inherited traits where, some of those traits are particularly suited for to be an effective leader. Early research was on psychological focus of the day but analyzing inherent characteristics of people. A study was often made on great leaders and check whether other people have those traits of those successful leasers. McCall and Lombardo (1983) did a research on both success and failure; they identified four primary traits by which a leader can succeed [2]. Emotional stability and composure Admitting error Good interpersonal skills Intellectual breath But there arises a question who possess those qualities but are not leaders? if we consider traits as key features for leadership. This question is one which makes a difficulty to explain leadership using trait theory. iii. Behavioral Theory The perspective of this theory is that Leaders can be made or rather than are born and also assumes that leadership in order to be successful it should be based on definable and learnable behavior. This theory does not focus on the inbuilt traits or capabilities and tries to intensify from what the leaders actually do. According to this theory people can become leaders by teaching and learning iv. Participative Leadership This theory assumes that people are more committed towards action and involve themselves in to the game when they are put in to some sort of relevant decision making and it also tells that when people make decisions together the social commitment one another plays a vital role and thus there comes a pure involvement in work. Several persons making decisions together brings about a good result is what the theory tells about. A participative leader rather than taking a decision himself will involve other people in to the process including stakeholders, subordinates and superiors, and involves him-self as well. In this theory the leaders allow others to share their ideas and also try to implement them. v. Situational Leadership This theory assumes that best action of a leader is based on the range of situational factors. When a decision is made an effective leader does not fall in to a unique style rather they take different styles based on the situation they work on. Factors that influence situational behavior are the motivation and the capability that the follower carries. A leaders focus of himself, his follower or the factors such as mood, stress and so on might also determine the behavior of a leader. Yukl (1989) seeks to combine other approaches and identifies six variables [3]: Subordinate effort: the motivation and actual effort expended. Subordinate ability and role clarity: followers knowing what to do and how to do it. Organization of the work: the structure of the work and utilization of resources. Cooperation and cohesiveness: of the group in working together. Resources and support: the availability of tools, materials, people, etc. External coordination: the need to collaborate with other groups. From these approaches this theory come to a conclusion that a leaders styles is often variable and it purely demands relationships, resource utilization and managing capabilities. vi. Contingency Theories: This states that leadership focus on the particular variables related to the environment that determine which particular style may best suit for a leadership behavior. This it states that leadership doesnt have a unique style that would be best in all situations. It is a class of behavioral theory where leadership style might be suitable for some theory but may not be successful in some other situation. The main difference between the situational and the contingent theories is that in situational the view is more on the behavior that the leader should adopt in a given situation wherein contingency theory takes an elaborate focus on the capabilities and variables that in a situation. VI. Management theories Management theories are also called transactional theories, and the assumptions made by this theory are that Reward and punishment may motivate people in a better way. And this is a system which works best with the clear chain of command. The subordinates are supposed to do the work given by their superiors or managers. In early days transactional leadership is the one where a subordinate is employed he is paid and given with some task, so that the company gets authority towards the subordinate. And when a transactional leader allocates a work for the subordinate he is the only person responsible for completing the task, whether they have the resource or not. If anything goes wrong the subordinate is been punished as like he is rewarded for succeeding. Managerial theories are often uses in the business domains VII. Relational theories Relational theories are also called as transformational theories, here the assumptions are People will follow a person who inspires them and on the other hand it also states that a person with vision and goal can go to great heights. Working with a transactional leader is an uplifting experience and moreover they care a lot for you and they try their level best to help you succeed, these leaders often follow simple procedures to accomplish their tasks Developing the vision Selling the vision Finding the way forwards And leading the charge These leaders often follow a high level of moral values and ethics in the organization with their followers. This type of leaders get frustrates when the organization or the people expect no changes and are happy the way they are living. Leadership Factors and Keys to Effective Leadership If a person decides to accept one to be a leader he shouldnt see the attributes in his leader rather he should focus on how a leader work and should take him to be an inspiration or role model. This may involve various factors a. Follower and a Leader These are two main factors where, its not a good idea to expect the entire follower may require the same kind of leader for example, a person in the analysis phase might require more assistance in the gathering requirements and a person working in the implementation phase may require a leader who might totally have different traits. So a leader must know his people! Leader is another factor must know answers for three questions in a concrete way, who he is, what he knows, what he can do. He must have the talents of convincing his followers because only because of them a person is leader. SITUATION Communication FOLLOWER LEADER Fig 1: Factors of leadership b. Communication and Situation A leader should always focus on Two-way communication. Its always better that the leader informs his follower dos and donts much of it in a non-verbal form. The way you communicate and what you communicate may play a major role in the leader, follower relationship. It also depends on the situation which is another important factor, situations are not always same, and the work done in one situation will not be suitable for other situation. A best judgment should be made in order to select the leadership style. There are two most important keys for effective leadership Trust and confidence which brings about employee satisfaction Effective communication by leadership in three critical areas as follows Helping employees to understand the companys business strategies. Helping employees understand what is their contribution. Sharing information with employees. LEADERSHIP IN SOFTWARE DEVELOPEMENT ^ Chemers, M. M. (2002). Meta-cognitive, social, and emotional intelligence of transformational leadership: Efficacy and Effectiveness. In R. E. Riggio, S. E. Murphy, F. J. Pirozzolo (Eds.), Multiple Intelligences and Leadership. McCall, M.W. Jr. and Lombardo, M.M. (1983). Off the track: Why and how successful executives get derailed. Greenboro, NC: Centre for Creative Leadership Yukl, G. A. (1989). Leadership in Organizations. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall

Crossroads of Tibet :: miscellaneous

Crossroads of Tibet Tibet, the roof of the world, is the highest and the most isolated country on earth. Located between China and Nepal, imagine a place tucked safely away from the world, hidden by walls of snowcapped mountains, rich with strange beauty and innocence. Tibetans are very confined people, their clothes are plain and simple like ropes but are actually silky and thick, unlike Chinese gowns which are flamboyant. They may have old fetchers but that is because the cold makes them look dry and old, but they are actually very pleasant people. During those days, they did not allow foreigners to enter their country. They were not hiding anything but they believed that foreign people would want to modernize their country, which they were against. Tibetans want to maintain their culture without changes, like a time capsule. Tibetans believe that walking for a long distance to holy places purifies the bad deeds they have committed; and that the more difficult the journey, the greater the depth of the purification. In 1949, Chairman Moa Tse-Tung was triumphantly proclaimed leader of the new People’s Republic of China, vowing that the first task of the communist regime, was to reunite the Chinese motherland. He declared that remote kingdom of Tibet was an integral part of Chinese territory and must rejoin the great republic. As the news passed to the ears of the Tibetan government, they replied firmly that â€Å"The government of Tibet recognizes no foreign sovereign, and we are an Independent Nation and all Chinese officials will be expelled from Tibet, and have a safe and pleasant return to China†. The government of Tibet knew that they would have a war against China which they did not intend to for it to happen and in the early 1950’s His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama was called upon to assume full political power of Head of State, when Tibet was threatened by the might of China. His Holiness, Tenzin Gyatso, at the age of 12 was the spiritual and temporal leader of the Tibetan people, was recognised as the reincarnation of his predecessor, the 13th Dalai Lama, was born in a small village of Takster – Northeast of Tibet. His Holiness dreamt that the village of Takster in Amdo including the northern border regions of Tibet was secured by the Chinese killing every man, woman and child. In his dream, images of monks were forced against their own will to point a gun to each other’s head.

Colorado Creative Music Case Study Essay

Large differences among competitors (advertisement) Necessity of touring across the country (more personal approach) Driving forces Financial – Lowered initial investment (technology) – Easy to enter the market – Digitalization (fixed costs) Non-financial (art) – To create a better piece of art – Essential for business to happen Attractiveness of the industry from the standpoint of good long-term profit prospects Health problems of Mr. Darren Skanson Instead of 2 planned CDs only 1new CD He found new musicians Need to sell more CDs (no more sales, no profit) for acceptation of the CDs by distributors Direct sales are big part of sales Finding of some responsible and skilful person SWOT analysis strengths decreased expenses due to digital revolution position on the market Darren’s presence at shows – the direct sale weaknesses lack of managerial skills insufficient distribution channel reducing profit SWOT analysis con’t opportunities reaching broader audience with promoting various artists and music styles music events outside Colorado cooperation with retail outlets nationwide threats new entrants existing competition minor position on the market iracy Assessment of CCM’s financial performance Not very various financial performance of the company Trends in each year: increasing gross profit of the company/expenses are increasing/net income is decreasing except 1998/sales are increasing – but not very – problem Increased number of work – increased number of money for hiring of new people. He need to sell more CDs if the company wants to be a part of national distribution – he had several options: 1. To have several artists and to play as record label 2. Compete with artists on a recording label with Sony Classical 3. To make a new good selling product and to use money from sales for first two goals He found out that needs to increase promotion and publicity process (not quality but image) The biggest dilemma – after having health problems – need to find responsible and skilful person Uncertainties – manager on his position can be weak and not such good as Darren – not beneficial for the company – no profit.

92-Tricks of Communication-Leil Lowndes

Technique #1 The Flooding Smile Don’t ? ash an immediate smile when you greet someone, as though anyone who walked into your line of sight would be the bene? ciary. Instead, look at the other person’s face for a second. Pause. Soak in their persona. Then let a big, warm, responsive smile ? ood over your face and over? ow into your eyes. It will engulf the recipient like a warm wave. The split-second delay convinces people your ? ooding smile is genuine and only for them. Technique #2 Sticky Eyes Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner’s with sticky warm taffy. Don’t break eye contact even after he or she has ? ished speaking. When you must look away, do it ever so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey taffy until the tiny string ? nally breaks. Technique #3 Epoxy Eyes ( dusray key baatay suntay suntay dusro say nazray melena chahtay hai .. toh yeh trick kaam key hai ) This brazen technique packs a powerful punch. Watch your target pers on even when someone else is talking. No matter who is speaking, keep looking at the man or woman you want to impact. Technique #4 Hang by Your Teeth ( BHAIYA JI , SMILE ) Visualize a circus iron-jaw bit hanging from the frame of every door you walk through. Take a bite and, with it ? mly between your teeth, let it swoop you to the peak of the big top. When you hang by your teeth, every muscle is stretched into perfect posture position. Technique #5 The Big-Baby Pivot Give everyone you meet The Big-Baby Pivot. The instant the two of you are introduced, reward your new acquaintance. Give the warm smile, the total-body turn, and the undivided attention you would give a tiny tyke who crawled up to your feet, turned a precious face up to yours, and beamed a big toothless grin. Pivoting 100 percent toward the new person shouts â€Å"I think you are very, very special. † Technique #6 Hello Old Friend ( DOSTANA DUDE ) When meeting someone, imagine he or she is an old friend (an old customer, an old beloved, or someone else you had great affection for). How sad, the vicis- situdes of life tore you two asunder. But, holy mack- erel, now the party (the meeting, the convention) has reunited you with your long-lost old friend! The joyful experience starts a remarkable chain reaction in your body from the subconscious softening of your eyebrows to the positioning of your toes—and everything between. Technique #7 Limit the Fidget ( KHUJLEE MAT KARNA baat kartay samay) Whenever your conversation really counts, let your nose tch, your ear tingle, or your foot prickle. Do not ?dget, twitch, wiggle, squirm, or scratch. And above all, keep your paws away from your puss. Hand motions near your face and all ? dgeting can give your listener the gut feeling you’re ? bbing. Technique #8 Hans’s Horse Sense ( ghoday key tarah bano 😛 hamesha pehlay Sunoo, socho fir bolo) Make it a habit t o get on a dual track while talking. Express yourself, but keep a keen eye on how your listener is reacting to what you’re saying. Then plan your moves accordingly. If a horse can do it, so can a human. People will say you pick up on everything. You never miss a trick. You’ve got horse sense Technique #9 Watch the Scene Before You Make the Scene ( be lyk RAJNIKAANTH†¦ LOL ) Rehearse being the Super Somebody you want to be ahead of time. SEE yourself walking around with Hang by Your Teeth posture, shaking hands, smiling the Flooding Smile, and making Sticky Eyes. HEAR your- self chatting comfortably with everyone. FEEL the pleasure of knowing you are in peak form and everyone is gravitating toward you. VISUALIZE yourself a Super Somebody. Then it all happens automatically. Technique #10 Make a Mood Match ( YO boyz†¦:P make a mood match bro.. ) Before opening your mouth, take a â€Å"voice sample† of our listener to detect his or her state of mind. Take a â€Å"psychic photograph† of the expression to see if your listener looks buoyant, bored, or blitzed. If you ever want to bring people around to your thoughts, you must match their mood and voice tone, if only for a moment. Technique #11 Prosaic with Passion ( first im pression is last impression) Worried about your ? rst words? Fear not, because 80 percent of your listener’s impression has nothing to do with your words anyway. Almost anything you say at ?rst is ? ne. No matter how prosaic the text, an empathetic mood, a positive demeanor, and passionate delivery make you sound exciting. Technique #12 Always Wear a Whatzit ( CHENDHA KARNA ) Whenever you go to a gathering, wear or carry something unusual to give people who ? nd you the delightful stranger across the crowded room an excuse to approach. â€Å"Excuse me, I couldn’t help but notice your . . . what IS that? † Technique #13 Whoozat ( for starting a consversation) Whoozat is the most effective, least used (by non- politicians) meeting-people device ever contrived. Simply ask the party giver to make the introduction, or pump for a few facts that you can immediately turn into icebreakers. Technique #14 Eavesdrop In No Whatzit? No host for Whoozat? No problem! Just sidle up behind the swarm of folks you want to in? l- trate and open your ears. Wait for any ? imsy excuse and jump in with â€Å"Excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhear. . . .† Will they be taken aback? Momentarily. Will they get over it? Momentarily. Will you be in the conversation? Absolutely! Technique #15 Never the Naked City ( Apnay rehnay key jagah ko achi jagh say compare karna chaiyay ) supificial SAKINAKA ) Whenever someone asks you the inevitable, â€Å"And where are you from? † never, ever, unfairly challenge their powers of imagination with a one-word answer. Learn some engaging facts about your hometown hat conversational partners can comment on. Then, when they say something clever in response to your bait, they think you’re a great conversationalist. Technique #16 Never the Naked Job ( if sum1 ask†¦ what do you do? To koi raaapchik word uskay saath adjective may daalnay apnay topic related thok daalnay ka :P) When aske d the inevitable â€Å"And what do you do,† you may think â€Å"I’m an economist/an educator/an engineer† is giving enough information to engender good conversation. However, to one who is not an economist, educator, or an engineer, you might as well be saying â€Å"I’m a paleontologist/psychoanalyst/pornographer. Flesh it out. Throw out some delicious facts about your job for new acquaintances to munch on. Otherwise, they’ll soon excuse themselves, preferring the snacks back at the cheese tray. Technique #17 Never the Naked Introduction ( batey karna sikhoo logo k saamnay.. gungay key tarah khaday mat rahoo ) When introducing people, don’t throw out an unbaited hook and stand there grinning like a big clam, leaving the newlymets to ? utter their ? ns and ? sh for a topic. Bait the conversational hook to get them in the swim of things. Then you’re free to stay or ? oat on to the next networking opportunity. Technique #18 Be a Word Detective ( kaaan khullaa raknay ka,aur uski baato say hint lekar TOPIC nikaal na kaa†¦ samja kya ? ) Like a good gumshoe, listen to your conversation partner’s every word for clues to his or her preferred topic. The evidence is bound to slip out. Then spring on that subject like a sleuth on to a slip of the tongue. Like Sherlock Holmes, you have the clue to the subject that’s hot for the other person. Technique #19 The Swiveling Spotlight When you meet someone, imagine a giant revolving spotlight between you. When you’re talking, the spotlight is on you. When the new person is speaking, it’s shining on him or her. If you shine it brightly enough, the stranger will be blinded to the fact that you have hardly said a word about yourself. The longer you keep it shining away from you, the more interesting he or she ? nds you. Technique #20 Parroting Never be left speechless again. Like a parrot, simply repeat the last few words your conversation partner says. That puts the ball right back in his or her court, and then all you need to do is listen. Technique #21 Encore! ( Koi achaa saa kissaa apni yaaado say dusro ko batana aur puchna kya apko yeh pasand aaya , hum firsay baatay ) The sweetest sound a performer can hear welling up ut of the applause is â€Å"Encore! Encore! Let’s hear it again! † The sweetest sound your conversation partner can hear from your lips when you’re talking with a group of people is â€Å"Tell them about the time you . . . † Whenever you’re at a meeting or party with someone important to you, think of some stories he or she told you. Cho ose an appropriate one from their repertoire that the crowd will enjoy. Then shine the spotlight by requesting a repeat performance. Technique #22 Ac-cen-tu-ate the Pos-i-tive ( a ache see smile chipkaa daaalnay ka,with +tve ness haan ) When ? rst meeting someone, lock your closet door and ave your skeletons for later. You and your new good friend can invite the skeletons out, have a good laugh, and dance over their bones later in the relationship. But now’s the time, as the old song says, to â€Å"ac-cen-tu-ate the pos-i-tive and elim-i-nate the neg-a-tive. † Technique #23 The Latest News . . . Don’t Leave Home Without It ( upto date rahoo†¦ BOLE toh TIP TOP) The last move to make before leaving for the party— even after you’ve given yourself ? nal approval in the mirror—is to turn on the radio news or scan your newspaper. Anything that happened today is good material. Knowing the big-deal news of the moment is lso a defensive move tha t rescues you from putting your foot in your mouth by asking what everybody’s talking about. Foot-in-mouth is not very tasty in public, especially when it’s surrounded by egg-on-face. The Right Way to Find Out So how do you ? nd out what someone does for a living? (I thought you’d never ask. ) You simply practice the following eight words. All together now: â€Å"How . . . do . . . you . . . spend . . . most . . . of . . . your . . . time? † Technique #24 What Do You Do—NOT! A sure sign you’re a Somebody is the conspicuous ab- sence of the question, â€Å"What do you do? † (You deter- ine this, of course, but not with those four dirty words that label you as either a ruthless networker, a social climber, a gold-digging husband or wife hunter, or someone who’s never strolled along Easy Street. ) Technique #25 The Nutshell Resume (apna character bhale he acha ho , alag alag log say miltay ho apna parichay badaltay raheyay†¦ lekin woh topic apna original ho†¦) Just as job-seeking top managers roll a different written resume off their printers for each position they’re applying for, let a different true story about your professional life roll off your tongue for each listener. Before responding to â€Å"What do you do? ask yourself, â€Å"What possible interest could this person have in my answer? Could he refer business to me? Buy from me? Hire me? Marry my sister? Become my buddy? † Wherever you go, pack a nutshell about your own life to work into your communications bag of tricks. Technique #26 Your Personal Thesaurus ( dude means that u shud use different words of same meaning in A COOL dude way†¦ ) Look up some common words you use every day in the thesaurus. Then, like slipping your feet into a new pair of shoes, slip your tongue into a few new words to see how they ? t. If you like them, start making permanent replacements. Remember, only ? fty words makes the difference between a rich, creative vocabulary and an average, middle-of-the-road one. Substitute a word a day for two months and you’ll be in the verbally elite. Technique #27 Kill the Quick â€Å"Me, Too! † ( jaldee mat kehna, mujay bhee but thoda wait karna chaiyay fir thoday tym k baad kehna chaiyay ) Whenever you have something in common with someone, the longer you wait to reveal it, the more moved (and impressed) he or she will be. You emerge as a con? dent big cat, not a lonely little stray, hungry for quick connection with a stranger. P. S. : Don’t wait too long to reveal your shared nterest or it will seem like you’re being tricky. Technique #28 Comm-YOU-nication ( pehlay aap ) Start every appropriate sentence with you. It immedi- ately grabs your listener’s attention. It gets a more positive response because it pushes the pride button and saves them having to translate it into â€Å"me† terms. W hen you sprinkle you as liberally as salt and pepper throughout your conversation, your listeners ?nd it an irresistible spice. Technique #29 The Exclusive Smile (use happydent sumtym LOL,issmile usee ko do JO hamay pasand aae ) If you ? ash everybody the same smile, like a Confed- erate dollar, it loses value. When meeting groups of people, grace each with a distinct smile. Let your smiles grow out of the beauty big players ? nd in each new face. If one person in a group is more important to you than the others, reserve an especially big, ? ooding smile just for him or her. Technique #30 Don’t Touch a Cliche with a Ten-Foot Pole ( koi NOOB jaisa word mat bhakna) Be on guard. Don’t use any cliches when chatting with big winners. Don’t even touch one with a ten-foot pole. Never? Not even when hell freezes over? Not unless you want to sound dumb as a doorknob. Instead of coughing up a cliche, roll your own clever phrases by using the next technique. Technique #31 Use Jawsmith’s Jive (Rhymin words but u Gotta be cool and only U ) Whether you’re standing behind a podium facing thousands or behind the barbecue grill facing your family, you’ll move, amuse, and motivate with the same skills. Read speakers’ books to cull quotations, pull pearls of wisdom, and get gems to tickle their funny bones. Find a few bon mots to let casually slide off your tongue on chosen occasions. If you want to be notable, dream up a crazy quotable. Make ’em rhyme, make ’em clever, or make ’em funny. Above all, make ’em relevant. Technique #32 Call a Spade a Spade ( bade log ko bade key tarah he maana chaiyay.. Don’t hide behind euphemisms. Call a spade a spade. That doesn’t mean big cats use tasteless four-letter words when perfectly decent ? ve- and six-letter ones exist. They’ve simply learned the King’s English, and they speak it. Here’s another way to tell the bi g players from the little ones just by listening to a few minutes of their conversation. Technique #33 Trash the Teasing ( kabhe bhe group talk may paiso so related Kisee aadmi par topic ya joke nahe karna chaiyay ) A dead giveaway of a little cat is his or her proclivity to tease. An innocent joke at someone else’s expense may get you a cheap laugh. Nevertheless, the big cats will ave the last one. Because you’ll bang your head against the glass ceiling they construct to keep little cats from stepping on their paws. Never, ever, make a joke at anyone else’s expense. You’ll wind up paying for it, dearly. Technique #34 It’s the Receiver’s Ball ( bad news ko smile,a relaxd whali breath k saath yaa thoda udaaseen ho expression kum he dikha kar batana chaiyay) A football player wouldn’t last two beats of the time clock if he made blind passes. A pro throws the ball with the receiver always in mind. Before throwing out any news, keep your receiver in mind. Then deliver it with a smile, a sigh, or a sob. Not ccording to how you feel about the news, but how the receiver will take it. Technique #35 The Broken Record (Pagaal ko log ko PAGAL banaanay ka ek he tarekaa,unchaahe baat puchnay par ek he baat ka REPETITION key jiyay) Whenever someone persists in questioning you on an unwelcome subject, simply repeat your original response. Use precisely the same words in precisely the same tone of voice. Hearing it again usually quiets them down. If your rude interrogator hangs on like a leech, your next repetition never fails to ? ick them off. Technique #36 Big Shots Don’t Slobber (fattu log key tarah mat khaday rayna†¦TAREEF jaldee say na karna.. alkee yeh kehna aap nay †¦ yeh sab kia mujay essay khushii mile DHANYAWAAD) .. People who are VIPs in their own right don’t slobber over celebrities. When you are chatting with one, don’t compliment her work, simply say how much pleasure or insight ità ¢â‚¬â„¢s given you. If you do single out any one of the star’s accomplishments, make sure it’s a recent one, not a memory that’s getting yellow in her scrapbook. If the queen bee has a drone sitting with her, ? nd a way to involve him in the conversation. Technique #37 Never the Naked Thank You ( thankU ko dilsay badachadakar bolo) Never let the phrase â€Å"thank you† stand alone. From A o Z, always follow it with for: from â€Å"Thank you for asking† to â€Å"Thank you for zipping me up. † Technique #38 Scramble Therapy ( do sumthin CRAZY bro†¦ ) Once a month, scramble your life. Do something you’d never dream of doing. Participate in a sport, go to an exhibition, hear a lecture on something totally out of your experience. You get 80 percent of the right lingo and insider questions from just one exposure. If you take a piece of blue litmus paper and dip it in a huge vat of acid, the tip turns pink. If you take another blue litm us paper and dip it into just one minuscule drop of acid on a glass slide, the tip turns just as pink. Compare this to participating in an activity just one time. A sampling gives you 80 percent of the conversa- tional value. You learn the insider’s questions to ask. You start using the right terms. You’ll never be at a loss again when the subject of extracurricular interests comes up—which it always does. Technique #39 Learn a Little Jobbledygook ( dude u gotta show interest in their lyf interest abt things which they lyk) Big winners speak Jobbledygook as a second language. What is Jobbledygook? It’s the language of other professions. Why speak it? It makes you sound like an insider. How do you learn it? You’ll ? d no Jobbledygook cassettes in the language section of your bookstore, but the lingo is easy to pick up. Simply ask a friend who speaks the lingo of the crowd you’ll be with to teach you a few opening questions. The words are few and the rewards are manifold. Technique #40 Baring Their Hot Button (PEOPLE k characters and status ko d ekhkar achay saawal pucho wid’out TENSION) Before jumping blindly into a bevy of bookbinders or a drove of dentists, ? nd out what the hot issues are in their ? elds. Every industry has burning concerns the outside world knows little about. Ask your informant to bare the industry buzz. Then, to heat the conversation up, push those buttons. Technique #41 Read Their Rags ( uska man pasand hobby dekho†¦ uskay bare may jaankar eekata karoo) Is your next big client a golfer, runner, swimmer, surfer, or skier? Are you attending a social function ? lled with accountants or Zen Buddhists—or anything in between? There are untold thousands of monthly magazines serving every imaginable interest. You can dish up more information than you’ll ever need to sound like an insider with anyone just by reading the rags that serve their racket. (Have you read your latest copy of Zoonooz yet? ) Technique #42 Clear â€Å"Customs† Before putting one toe on foreign soil, get a book on dos and taboos around the world. Before you shake hands, give a gift, make gestures, or even compliment anyone’s possessions, check it out. Your gaffe could gum up your entire gig. Technique #43 Bluffing for Bargains ( dude u wanna know the thing ,whaz it ? then buy it) PUCHtaach karo The haggling skills used in ancient Arab markets are alive and well in contemporary America for big-ticket items. Your price is much lower when you know how to deal. Before every big purchase, ? nd several vendors—a few to learn from and one to buy from. Armed with a ew words of industryese, you’re ready to head for the store where you’re going to buy. Technique #44 Be a Copyclass Watch people. Look at the way they move. Small movements? Big movements? Fast? Slow? Jerky? Fluid? Old? Young? Classy? Trashy? Pretend the person you are talking to is your danc instructor. Is he a jazzy mover? Is she a balletic mover? Watch his or her body, and then imitate the style of movement. That makes your conversation partner subliminally real comfy with you. Technique #45 Echoing Echoing is a simple linguistic technique that packs a powerful wallop. Listen to the speaker’s arbitrary choice f nouns, verbs, prepositions, adjectives—and echo them back. Hearing their words come out of your mouth creates subliminal rapport. It makes them feel you share their values, their attitudes, their interests, their experiences. Technique #46 Potent Imaging Does your customer have a garden? Talk about â€Å"sowing the seeds for success. † Does your boss own a boat? Tell him or her about a concept that will â€Å"hold water† or â€Å"stay a? oat. † Maybe he is a private pilot? Talk about a concept really â€Å"taking off. † She plays tennis? Tell her it really hits the â€Å"sweet spot. † Evoke your listener’s interests or lifestyle and weave images around it. To give your points more power and punch, use analogies from your listener’s world, not your own. Potent Imaging also tells your listeners you think like them and hints you share their interests. Technique #47 Employ Empathizers Don’t be an unconscious ummer. Vocalize complete sentences to show your understanding. Dust your dialogue with phrases like â€Å"I see what you mean. † Sprinkle it with sentimental sparklers like â€Å"That’s a lovely thing to say. † Your empathy impresses your listeners and encourages them to continue. Technique #48 Anatomically Correct Empathizers What part of their anatomy are your associates talking through? Their eyes? Their ears? Their gut? For visual people, use visual empathizers to make them think you see the world the way they do. For auditory folks, use auditory empathizers to make them think you hear them loud and clear. For kinesthetic types, use kinesthetic empathizers to make them think you feel the same way they do. #49 How to Make ’Em Think We (Instead of You vs. Me ) 1. Level One: Cliches Two strangers talking together primarily toss cliches back and forth. For instance, when chatting about the universally agreed- upon world’s dullest subject—the weather—one stranger might say to the other, â€Å"Beautiful sunny weather we’ve been having. Or, â€Å"Boy, some rain, huh? † That’s level one, cliches. 2. Level Two: Facts People who know each other but are just acquaintances often dis- cuss facts. â€Å"You know, Joe, we’ve had twice as many sunny days this year to date as last. † Or, â€Å"Yeah, well, we ? nally decided to pu t in a swimming pool to beat the heat. † 3. Level Three: Feelings and Personal Questions When people become friends, they often express their feelings to each other, even on subjects as dull as the weather. â€Å"George, I just love these sunny days. † They also ask each other personal ques- tions: â€Å"How about you, Betty? Are you a sun person? † 4. Level Four: We Statements Now we progress to the highest level of intimacy. This level is richer than facts and creates more rapport than feelings. It’s we and us statements. Friends discussing the weather might say, â€Å"If we keep having this good weather, it’ll be a great summer. † Lovers might say, â€Å"I hope this good weather keeps up for us so we can go swimming on our trip. † A technique to achieve the ultimate verbal intimacy grows out of this phenomenon. Simply use the word we prematurely. You can use it to make a client, a prospect, a stranger feel you are already friends. Use it to make a potential romantic partner feel the two of you are already an item. I call it the â€Å"Premature We. † In casual conversation, simply cut through levels one and two. Jump straight to three and four. Chemistry, charisma, and con? dence are three characteristics shared by big winners in all walks of life. Part One helped us make a dynamic, con? dent, and charismatic ? rst impression with body language. In Part Two, we put smooth small-talk lyrics to our body ballet. Then in Part Three, we seized hints from the big boys and big girls so we’re contenders for life’s big league. Part Four rescued us from being tongue-tied with folks with whom we have very lit- tle in common. And in Part Five, we learned techniques to create instant chemistry, instant intimacy, instant rapport. Mind boggling, isn’t it? Sociologists’ research shows: 1) a com- pliment from a new person is more potent than from someone you already know, 2) your compliment has more credibility when given to an unattractive person or an attractive person whose face you’ve never seen, 3) you are taken more seriously if you preface your comments by some self-effacing remark—but only if your listener perceives you as higher on the totem pole. If you’re lower, yourself-effacing remark reduces your credibility. Complicated, this complimenting stuff. Technique #51 Grapevine Glory A compliment one hears is never as exciting as the one he overhears. A priceless way to praise is not by telephone, not by telegraph, but by tell-a-friend. This way you escape possible suspicion that you are an apple-polishing, bootlicking, egg-sucking, back- scratching sycophant trying to win brownie points. You also leave recipients with the happy fantasy that you are telling the whole world about their greatness. Technique #52 Carrier Pigeon Kudos People immediately grow a beak and metamorphosize themselves into carrier pigeons when there’s bad news. It’s called gossip. ) Instead, become a carrier of good news and kudos. Whenever you hear something complimentary about someone, ? y to them with the compliment. Your fans may not posthumously stuff you and put you on display in a museum like Stumpy Joe. But everyone loves the carrier pigeon of kind thoughts. Carry More Cargo than Compliments Another wa y to warm hearts and win friends is to become a car- rier pigeon of news items that might interest the recipient. Call, mail, or E-mail people with information they might ? nd interesting. Technique #53 Implied Magnificence Throw a few comments into your conversation that resuppose something positive about the person you’re talking with. But be careful. Don’t blow it like the well- intentioned maintenance man. Or the southern boy who, at the prom, thought he was ? attering his date when he told her, â€Å"Gosh, Mary Lou, for a fat gal you dance real good. † Technique #54 Accidental Adulation Become an undercover complimenter. Stealthily sneak praise into the parenthetical part of your sentence. Just don’t try to quiz anyone later on your main point. The joyful jolt of your accidental adulation strikes them temporarily deaf to anything that follows. Technique #55 Killer Compliment Whenever you are talking with a stranger you’d like to make part of your professional or personal future, search for one attractive, speci? c, and unique quality he or she has. At the end of the conversation, look the individual right in the eye. Say his or her name and proceed to curl all ten toes with the Killer Compliment. Rule #1: Deliver your Killer Compliment to the recipi- ent in private. If you are standing with a group of four or ? ve people and you praise one woman for being ? t, every other woman feels like a barrel of lard. If you tell one man he has wonderful carriage, every other feels like a hunchback. You also make the blushing recipient uncomfortable. Rule #2: Make your Killer Compliment credible. For example, I’m tone-deaf. If I’m forced to sing even a simple song like â€Å"Happy Birthday,† I sound like a sick pig. If anyone in earshot were foolish enough to tell me they liked my voice, I’d know it was hogwash. Rule #3: Confer only one Killer Compliment per half year on each recipient . Otherwise you come across as insincere, groveling, obsequious, pandering, and a thoroughly manipulative person. Not cool. With careful aim, the Killer Compliment captures everyone. It works best, however, when you use it judiciously on new cquaintances. If you want to praise friends every day, employ the next technique. Technique #56 Little Strokes Don’t make your colleagues, your friends, your loved ones look at you and silently say, â€Å"Haven’t I been pretty good today? † Let them know how much you appreciate them by caressing them with verbal Little Strokes like â€Å"Nice job! † â€Å"Well done! † â€Å"Cool! † Technique #57 The Knee-Jerk â€Å"Wow! † Quick as a blink, you must praise people the moment they a ? nish a feat. In a wink, like a knee-jerk reaction say, â€Å"You were terri? c! † Don’t worry that they won’t believe you. The euphoria of the moment has a strangely numbing effect n the achiever’s objective judgment. Technique #58 Boomeranging Just as a boomerang ? ies right back to the thrower, let compliments boomerang right back to the giver. Like the French, quickly murmur something that expresses â€Å"That’s very kind of you. † Technique #59 The Tombstone Game Ask the important people in your life what they would like engraved on their tombstone. Chisel it into your memory but don’t mention it again. Then, when the moment is right to say â€Å"I appreciate you† or â€Å"I love you,† ? ll the blanks with the very wor ds they gave you weeks earlier. You take people’s breath away when you feed their eepest self-image to them in a compliment. â€Å"At last,† they say to themselves, â€Å"someone who loves me for who I truly am. † Technique #60 Talking Gestures Think of yourself as the star of a personal radio drama every time you pick up the phone. If you want to come across as engaging as you are, you must turn your smiles into sound, your nods into noise, and all your gestures into something your listener can hear. You must replace your gestures with talk. Then punch up the whole act 30 percent! Technique #61 Name Shower People perk up when they hear their own name. Use it more often on the phone than you would in person to eep their attention. Your caller’s name re-creates the eye contact, the caress, you might give in person. Saying someone’s name repeatedly when face-to-face sounds pandering. But because there is physical distance between you on the phoneâ₠¬â€sometimes you’re a conti- nent apart—you can spray your conversation with it. Technique #62 â€Å"Oh Wow, It’s You! † Don’t answer the phone with an â€Å"I’m just sooo happy all the time† attitude. Answer warmly, crisply, and professionally. Then, after you hear who is calling, let a huge smile of happiness engulf your entire face and spill over into your voice. You make your caller feel as hough your giant warm fuzzy smile is reserved for him or her. Technique #63 The Sneaky Screen If you must screen your calls, instruct your staff to ? rst say cheerfully, â€Å"Oh yes, I’ll put you right through. May I tell her who’s calling? † If the party has already identi? ed himself, it’s â€Å"Oh of course, Mr. Whoozit. I’ll put you right through. † When the secretary comes back with the bad news that Mr. or Ms. Bigwig is unavailable, callers don’t take it personally and never feel screened . They fall for it every time, just like I did. Technique #64 Salute the Spouse Whenever you are calling someone’s home, always identify nd greet the person who answers. Whenever you call someone’s of? ce more than once or twice, make friends with the secretary. Anybody who is close enough to answer the phone is close enough to sway the VIP’s opinion of you. Technique #65 What Color Is Your Time? No matter how urgent you think your call, always begin by asking the person about timing. Either use the What Color Is Your Time? device or simply ask, â€Å"Is this a convenient time for you to talk? † When you ask about timing ? rst, you’ll never smash your footprints right in the middle of your telephone partner’s sands of time. You’ll never get a â€Å"No! just because your timing wasn’t right. How to Impress Everyone with Your Outgoing Voicemail Message And here’s the secret: to give the impression you are really on top of your business, change your message every day. Studies show that callers perceive people to be brighter and more ef? cient when they hear an updated message each time they call. If appropriate, let callers know where you are and when you intend to be back. If you have customers who need to be attended to, this is crucial. Technique #66 Constantly Changing Outgoing Message If you want to be perceived as conscientious and eliable, leave a short, professional, and friendly greeting as your outgoing message. No music. No jokes. No inspirational messages. No boasts, bells, or whistles. And here’s the secret: change it every day. Your message doesn’t have to be ? awless. A little cough or stammer gives a lovely unpretentious reality to your message Technique #67 Your Ten-Second Audition ( just keep in suspense†¦. ) While dialing, clear your throat. If an answering machine picks up, pretend the beep is a big Broadway producer saying â€Å"Nexxxt. † Now you’ re on. This is Your Ten-Second Audition to prove you are worthy of a quick callback. Technique #68 The Ho-Hum Caper Instead of using your party’s name, casually let the pronoun he or she roll off your tongue. Forget â€Å"Uh, may I speak to Ms. Bigshot please? † Just announce, â€Å"Hi, Bob Smith here, is she in? † Tossing the familiar she off your tongue signals to the secretary that you and her boss are old buddies. Technique #69 â€Å"I Hear Your Other Line†(I can hear U other lyn†¦kuch kaam hai apko ussay..? When you hear a phone in the background, stop speaking—in midsentence, if necessary—and say â€Å"I hear your other line,† (or your dog barking, your baby crying, your spouse calling you). Ask whether she has o attend to it. Whether she does or not, she’ll know you’re a top communicator for asking. Technique #70 Instant Replay Record all your business conversations and listen to them again. The second or third time, you pick up on signi? cant subtleties you missed the ? rst time. It’s like football fans who often don’t know if there was a fumble until they see it all over again in Instant Replay. Use the Six-Point Party Checklist—the Who? When? Why? Where? What? and How? of a party—as your general game plan. Now let’s get down to speci? cs. Technique #71 Munching or Mingling Politicians want to be eyeball to eyeball and belly to elly with their constituents. Like any big winner well versed in the science of proxemics and spatial relationships, they know any object except their belt buckle has the effect of a brick wall between two people. Therefore they never hold food or drink at a party. Come to munch or come to mingle. But do not expect to do both. Like a good politician, chow down before you come. Technique #72 Rubberneck the Room When you arrive at the gathering, stop dramatically in the doorway. Then s-l-o-w-l-y survey the situation. Let your eyes travel back and forth like a SWAT team ready in a heartbeat to wipe out anything th at moves. Technique #73 Be the Chooser, Not the Choosee( baagha key tarah khaday mat raho.. jo bakra pasaand aaya usko manaao) The lifelong friend, the love of your life, or the business contact who will transform your future may not be at the party. However, someday, somewhere, he or she will be. Make every party a rehearsal for the big event. Do not stand around waiting for the moment when that special person approaches you. You make it happen by exploring every face in the room. No more â€Å"ships passing in the night. † Capture whatever or whomever you want in your life. Technique #75 Tracking Like an air-traf? controller, track the tiniest details of your conversation partners’ lives. Refer to them in your conversation like a major news story. It creates a power- ful sense of intimacy. When you invoke the last major or minor event in anyone’s life, it con? rms the deep conviction that he or she is an old-style hero around whom the world revolves. And people love you for recognizing their stardom. Technique #76 The Business Card Dossier Right after you’ve talked to someone at a party, take out your pen. On the back of his or her business card write notes to remind you of the conversation: his favorite restaurant, sport, movie, or drink; whom she dmires, where she grew up, a high school honor; or maybe a joke he told. In your next communication, toss off a reference to the favorite restaurant, sport, movie, drink, hometown, high school honor. Or reprieve the laugh over the great joke. Like a sales pro, ask yourself, â€Å"How can I change the subject to turn this person on? † Technique #77 Eyeball Selling The human body is a twenty-four-hour broadcasting station that transmits â€Å"You thrill me. † â€Å"You bore me. † â€Å"I love that aspect of your product. † â€Å"That one puts my feet to sleep. † Set the hidden cameras behind your eyeballs to pick up on all your customers’ and friends’ signals. Then plan your pitch and your pace accordingly. Technique #78 See No Bloopers, Hear No Bloopers Cool communicators allow their friends, associates, acquaintances, and loved ones the pleasurable myth of being above commonplace bloopers and embarrassing biological functions. They simply don’t notice their comrades’ minor spills, slips, fumbles, and faux pas. They obviously ignore raspberries and all other signs of human frailty in their fellow mortals. Big winners never gape at another’s gaffes. Technique #79 Lend a Helping Tongue Whenever someone’s story is aborted, let the interrup- tion play itself out. Give everyone time to dote on the little darling, give their dinner order, or pick up the jagged pieces of china. Then, when the group reassembles, simply say to the person who suffered story-interruptus, â€Å"Now please get back to your story. † Or better yet, remember where they were and then ask, â€Å"So what happened after the . . . † (and ? ll in the last few words). When asking someone for a favor, let them know how mu t means to you. You come across as a straight shooter, and the joy of helping you out is often reward enough. Don’t deny them th leasure! Technique #80 Bare the Buried WIIFM (and WIIFY) Whenever you suggest a meeting or ask a favor, divulge the respective bene? ts. Reveal what’s in it for you and what’s in it for the other person—even if it’s zip. If any hidden agenda comes up later, you get labeled a sly fox. Technique #81 Let ’Em Savor the Favor Whenever a friend agrees to a favor, allow your generous buddy time to relish the joy of his or her bene? cence before you make them pay the piper. How long? At least twenty-four hours. Technique #82 Tit for (Wait . . . Wait) Tat When you do someone a favor and it’s obvious that â€Å"he owes you one,† wait a suitable amount of time before asking him to â€Å"pay. Let him enjoy the fact (or ? ction) that you did it out of friendship. Don’t call in your tit for their tat too swiftly(fastly). Technique #83 Parties Are for Pratter There are three sacred safe havens in the human jungle where even the toughest tiger knows he must not attack. The ? rst of these is parties. Parties are for pleasantries and good fellowship, not for confrontations. Big players, even when standing next to their enemies at the buffet table, smile and nod. They leave tough talk for tougher settings. Technique #84 Dinner’s for Dining The most guarded safe haven respected by big winners is the dining table. Breaking bread together is a time when they bring up no unpleasant matters. While eating, they know it’s OK to brainstorm and discuss the positive side of the business: their dreams, their desires, their designs. They can free associate and come up with new ideas. But no tough business. Technique #85 Chance Encounters Are for Chitchat If you’re selling, negotiating, or in any sensitive communication with someone, do NOT capitalize on a chance meeting. Keep the melody of your mistaken meeting sweet and light. Otherwise, it could turn into your swan song with Big Winner. Technique #86 Empty Their Tanks If you need information, let people have their entire say ?rst. Wait patiently until their needle is on empty and the last drop drips out and splashes on the cement. It’s the only way to be sure their tank is empty enough of their own inner noise to start receiving your ideas. Technique #87 Echo the Emo Facts speak. Emotions shout. Whenever you need facts from people about an emotional situation, let them emote. Hear their facts but empathize like mad with their emotions. Smearing on the emo is often the only way to calm their emotional storm. Technique #88 My Goof, Your Gain Whenever you make a boner, make sure your victim ene? ts. It’s not enough to correct your mistake. Ask yourself, â€Å"What could I do for this suffering soul so he or she will be delighted I made the ? ub? † Then do it, fast! In that way, your goof will become your gain. Technique #89 Leave an Escape Hatch Whenever you catch someone lying, ? lching, exagger- ating, distorting, or deceiving, don’t confront the dirty duck directly. Unless it is your responsibility to catch or correct the culprit—or unless you are saving other innocent victims by doing so—let the transgressor out of your trap with his tricky puss in one piece. Then resolve never to gaze upon it again. Technique #90 Buttercups for Their Boss ( makhhan maarkay) Do you have a store clerk, accountant, law ? rm junior partner, tailor, auto mechanic, maitre d’, massage therapist, kid’s teacher—or any other worker you want special attention from in the future? The sure? re way to make them care enough to give you their very best is send a buttercup to their boss. Technique #91 Lead the Listeners No matter how prominent the big cat behind the podium is, crouched inside is a little scaredy-cat who is anxious about the crowd’s acceptance. Big winners recognize you’re a fellow big winner when they see you leading their listeners in a positive eaction. Be the ? rst to applaud or publicly commend the man or woman you agree with (or want favors from). Big winners—before putting pen to paper, ? ngers to key- board, mouth to phone, or hand to someone else’s to shake it— do a quick calculation. They ask themselves â€Å"Who has the most to bene? t from th is relationship? What has each of us done recently that demands deference from the other? † And what can I do to even the score? Remember, repeating an action makes a habit. Your habits create your character. And your character is your destiny. May success be your destiny. Cheer UP bro†¦. 😀 ***************